Toodleloo, summer. It's been real.

This post is borderline irrelevant, since summer is almost over, but we have at least a month of hot weather left and I'd like to note some ways to stay "chill" (get it?).

1) The city pool. Words can't describe how much time I've spent at the pool this summer. There is something very old-fashioned about a city pool, especially in Pittsburgh. For one, it costs, like, two cents to get in. Once there, it's just you, a snack bar on wheels, a towel, and the lifeguards that range from age 14 to 52 (though all of them will hit on you). It's also great for people-watching. My Pittsburgh BFF Kelly and I have seen all walks of life these last months: a man with elephantiasis, a mother telling her young son, "Fuck you," and a pot-bellied snack bar worker who tried in vain to convince me to buy a funnel cake by saying, "Nice and round, nine inch ones. Good round funnel cakes," as though the roundness was particularly unique and appealing.


2) Popsicles. Need I say more? I mean, I will, but I don't think I need to. Fruit flavored. Icy. Ideally from Trader Joe's or Whole Foods. Low calorie. All around keep-cool deliciousness.




3) Good tunes are cuh-RUCIAL for summer chilling. I've been going through a Neil Young phase this summer, but other diddies include:

Matt Pond PA - "New Hampshire"
The Microphones - "I Felt Your Shape"
The New Pornographers - Challengers
Bonnie "Prince" Billy (I saw him live with his brother Ned Oldham and they were incredible)
The Four Tops - "Walk Away Renee."


I'm not saying you need these tunes in particular to have a good last month of summer, but I am saying you're probably retarded if you don't like them.

Happy Pura Vida,
Smashleigh

CT, Wheat Tortillas, and 24.

Times are hard here at HMPV. Nobody blogs anymore. I guess we are all just so busy chilling that we don't have time to blog about chilling. Funny how that happens.

Here is the deal, folks.

I challenge all people that live la pura vida to post a blog. It can be about anything your heart desires. For instance, I love baklava and I ate a ton of it this week. If I wanted to, I could tell you more about it . . . in a post! But I will wait and put baklava in a decadent dessert post- coming soon! Let's talk about my favorite subject:

The Cocteau Twins.

Right now, I am supposed to be working on med school applications. Snoozefest! You know what gets me through it? Elizabeth Fraser's voice. Her ethereal voice and CT's hypnotic melodies are the perfect background music for productivity.

In fact, I have cherry-coloured funk and ella megalast burls forever on my "being productive" mix. Dig it.

Moving on, I just wanted to talk about wheat tortillas. I always eat them! I buy the high fiber ones and lather them with guac or mayo. Then I stuff them with delicious veggies or scrambled eggs. For some reason, I feel like I am being "healthier" by stuffing my face with tortillas instead of pillowy white bread.

Also, I just finished season 1 of 24!! So tight. Except for Terry, she sucks. For anybody who hasn't seen 24, you don't know JACK. For reals, go stream that shizzy off surfthechannel.com.

Yello.

Dudes,

I don't have cable anymore. Let the blogging begin!

Love,
Kiks

How to Chill:

1. Fly to Orlando, FL.

2. Rent Ford Focus. Drive Focus to Winter Haven.

3. Chill the eff out at Indians Spring Training.

4. Hit up the Billy Bones attached to the local Ho Jo.

5. Pony keg party in the hotel room for the Duke-UNC game.

6. Get photo with Casey.

Lesson Over.

Hanes My Way

Many moons ago, I realized that not only are white men's undershirts hot as shit when men wear them, they are hot as shit when WOMEN wear them. But finding the perfectly fitting, snug-but-not-too-tight, not-too-thin (and therefore see-through), not too stretchy-outty white men's t-shirt can put a girl in quite a pickle.

Friends, look no further.

Hanes V-Neck Premium Comfort Soft white t-shirts are the MFing HOLY GRAIL of white t-shirts. Soft. Snug. Well-fitting in the female shoulders, which by nature are, of course, much daintier and delicate than the big strong men usually purchasing things. It's as if these things were made for women, and accidentally marketed for men. Pair them with a cute summery skirt and you'll charm the pants off male babes with your casual "I didn't try too hard and still I'm smoking hot as fuck" look.

Furthermore, I guarantee you wear a size small in these babies (unless you're into over-sized t-shirts, which I am not, and which you shouldn't be, either). Just buying a fresh pack of three (only ten bucks) Target today made me feel like an itsy bitsy little baby girl, the slimmest in the land.

Quick Q.

Maybe its the kilograms of salt I eat everyday, maybe it is my ability to replace water with soda- whatever the reason, my adorable face is not so adorable in the morning.




Why? Because it is swollen, puffy and beyond recognition.




Usually, I try not to fix the marshmallow on top of my neck and just wait for it to deflate by lunchtime.

But, Time, she is up.

This morning I attempted to treat my face as one would treat a sprained ankle:




RICE. Rest. Ice. Compress. Elevate.



Well, I didn't really elevate my face, but I did lie down on the couch and pressed ziploc bags of ice on my face.



So here is my Q: Does anyone know how to depuff a morning face? In a timely fashion?

Thanks,

Kiks

So I haven't posted in awhile. Because I have been been so busy. Sike! I have been chillaxing per usual! Regardless, there is some really dope stuff I just have to blog about.

Bread Pudding.

"Ooey Gooey" Chocolate Chip Bread Pudding to be exact. This artery clogging, carb laden treat is perfection in an 8 x 8 pan. Guests will be amazed at the "Artie's" dessert menu taste and melted chocolatey presentation- and surprised when you tell them how easy it is to make! Hopefully, the rich decadence of the pudding won't give them the 'rhea like Artie's desserts.

Here is the recipe:

2 large eggs at room temperature
2 1/4 cups whole milk (I mixed whole, 2% and cream to make 2 &1/4 cup)
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
5 cups cubed or torn stale white bread (I used a stale french baguette)
1 1/2 cups mini chocolate chips

Heat the oven to 350°. In a large bowl, thoroughly mix together the eggs, milk, sugar, and cinnamon. Add the bread and stir gently until all of it is fully covered with the egg mixture. Fold in the chocolate chips. Pour the mixture into a lightly greased 8- by 8-inch casserole dish. Bake for 45 minutes or until a knife comes out clean and the pudding is lightly browned and puffed up on the edges.

To add a little panache- I served it with freshly whipped cream.

Apes and Androids.

Their album "Blood Moon" is pretty tight. Electronic, rock, pop perfection. To start off, one should listen to "Nights of the Week". "Radio" is great. Listening to the album makes me want to put on a cute-ass outfit, drink some light beer, and dance the night away.

http://apesandandroids.com/

Baby Powder.

I wish I knew about the multiple uses of this sweet smelling powder in college. I would have saved myself from ugly hair, smokey smelling clothes, and un-presentable days.

I live by the "only wash your hair every other day" motto. This means my hair is sometimes slick with a day 2 sheen. Enter baby powder. Just throw a handful on your scalp and let the powder get to work. Before you know it your hair will look as fresh as day 1 and NOT GREASY. Seriously, I should have been doing this in high school- when a good day was throwing on sweats and a colorful kerchief to cover my oily rat's nest of a scalp. Also, it miraculously blends well with my mousy brown hair.

Note: Blonde hair is still the easiest color to work with when you feel like powdering the wig.

You can also sprinkle BP on smokey clothes for a quick fix before a night on the town. This function also works when you apply it to the whole body. Basically, BP is never a bad idea before going out- whether it is hair, clothes, or bod.

Okay, I am off to bed- but plz plz plz at least listen to "Nights of the Week" and eat bread pudding. I understand if you don't want to powder your wig. The Apes and Androids stuff is really great and accessible. It isn't at all like the Cocteau Twins which I usually shove down my friends' throats.

A real bad case of Scrabs.

After years of flirting and the occasional half-hearted hook-up, I am finally fucking the shit out of this game.

Our relationship began when I was a kid and forced to play with various older and smarter family members, and then went on through college, when I'd play with my genius--seriously, he really is a genius--friend Miles, who scored over 300 ever fucking time.

The hot and heavy stuff started only this last week, after I started a Facebook account for the sole purpose of playing Scrabulous, Facebook's online version of Scrabble.

First of all, I started this account with much kicking and screaming. "I already have MySpace," I told a friend, the one who was pushing for me to join Facebook just to play him in this game. "Fuck no," I said.

But then...I joined.

And I looked up like 9 million old friends that aren't on MySpace and creepily checked out all their current photos and profile information and all that sort of stalkerish stuff the internet so awesomely allows.

Only 15 of those 9 million are now my actual Facebook friends. But moving on.

The point is Scrabulous. You can play like 10 games at once. You can get online at the same time as your opponent and just fucking go, or you can take your sweet time and sign on whenever you want. You can use the internet to look up 2-letter words nobody really knows the meaning of.

It's fabulous. Ha! It is so fantabulous (HA!!!) it prompts me to make stupid fucking jokes that only I laugh at! It is so scrabtastical that I am not only posting this blog right this very minute, but also clicking over to a different window just to see if any of my opponents have made a move yet! On a Friday night! All alone.

But this is what this game is good for. People who take shame in their weekend night reclusiveness and seek distraction from it. People who have a lot of work to do but don't want to do any of it. Also, there is a built-in instant messager thing that allows you to put down your opponent as often as you like and without the fear of bodily harm that real-life Scrabble-dissing might warrant. I prefer the old, "I'll kill you," or, if they're going too slow, "Zzzzzz."

I'm all in a tizzy, just typing about it! I'm going to go click "refresh" once or twice or maybe more.

Snow!

It snowed today in Pittsburgh, and I wore one damn cute hodgepodge of a winter outfit. This made me consider winter essentials. What are winter essentials? Where can one find them? How should one go about properly layering such essentials?

Seriously, answer me.

I'm kidding. I'll do the answering here.

Crucial Winter Stuff:

1) Gloves, people. This is crucial if you walk to campus like I do and, say, sometimes talk on your cell phone as you walk, or else stick your hands in a not-as-warm-as-you-would-like coat, and find your poor little paws still chilly. Today, I bought a perfectly toasty pair of gloves at Rite Aid for $9.99. They're bright blue.

2) Hats! Who doesn't love a cute and ridiculously warm winter hat? You can go old-timey, kids-from-A Christmas Story-style (see below), or get a nice wooly beanie. I prefer a red wool hat with a fleece lining that my sister got in Norway. It's so awesome and original, I couldn't find a picture of it anywhere on the internet.

3) A cute coat. This is crucial. You don't want to freeze your titties off. Wool is the best way to go, in my opinion, and preferably with some sort of toasty lining. I got a new black one from Target. Sixty bones. Not the warmest EVER (not a toasty lining, but a silk one, and the wool is some sort of blend, which isn't as warm as I initially hoped). But it is much better than H&M's version, which I wore all last year and now regret. H&M coats are basically a bunch of threadbare cotton strung together with buttons. What a waste.

4) Waterproof boots. Here in P-burgh, it rains. A lot. Biblical type raining. It also snows, as aforementioned. I prefer my Target brand (here I go again--but Target has some really great apparel) rain boots. I have a pair in both black and army green. They make me want to go for a jaunt across some wild England moor. Also, they are wicked cheap.

5) Long underwear. I LIVE in my long underwear whilst lounging in my apartment. Truly can't recommend it enough--comfortable, durable, and warm as shit. I own a North Face brand but I am sure any thermalware will do.

I'd like to include more fun pictures to supplement my crucial winter elements, but, frankly, am too lazy. Also, mid-way through writing this blog I went out and had three beers, and now I'm both lazy and tipsy and tired to boot.