A real bad case of Scrabs.

After years of flirting and the occasional half-hearted hook-up, I am finally fucking the shit out of this game.

Our relationship began when I was a kid and forced to play with various older and smarter family members, and then went on through college, when I'd play with my genius--seriously, he really is a genius--friend Miles, who scored over 300 ever fucking time.

The hot and heavy stuff started only this last week, after I started a Facebook account for the sole purpose of playing Scrabulous, Facebook's online version of Scrabble.

First of all, I started this account with much kicking and screaming. "I already have MySpace," I told a friend, the one who was pushing for me to join Facebook just to play him in this game. "Fuck no," I said.

But then...I joined.

And I looked up like 9 million old friends that aren't on MySpace and creepily checked out all their current photos and profile information and all that sort of stalkerish stuff the internet so awesomely allows.

Only 15 of those 9 million are now my actual Facebook friends. But moving on.

The point is Scrabulous. You can play like 10 games at once. You can get online at the same time as your opponent and just fucking go, or you can take your sweet time and sign on whenever you want. You can use the internet to look up 2-letter words nobody really knows the meaning of.

It's fabulous. Ha! It is so fantabulous (HA!!!) it prompts me to make stupid fucking jokes that only I laugh at! It is so scrabtastical that I am not only posting this blog right this very minute, but also clicking over to a different window just to see if any of my opponents have made a move yet! On a Friday night! All alone.

But this is what this game is good for. People who take shame in their weekend night reclusiveness and seek distraction from it. People who have a lot of work to do but don't want to do any of it. Also, there is a built-in instant messager thing that allows you to put down your opponent as often as you like and without the fear of bodily harm that real-life Scrabble-dissing might warrant. I prefer the old, "I'll kill you," or, if they're going too slow, "Zzzzzz."

I'm all in a tizzy, just typing about it! I'm going to go click "refresh" once or twice or maybe more.

Snow!

It snowed today in Pittsburgh, and I wore one damn cute hodgepodge of a winter outfit. This made me consider winter essentials. What are winter essentials? Where can one find them? How should one go about properly layering such essentials?

Seriously, answer me.

I'm kidding. I'll do the answering here.

Crucial Winter Stuff:

1) Gloves, people. This is crucial if you walk to campus like I do and, say, sometimes talk on your cell phone as you walk, or else stick your hands in a not-as-warm-as-you-would-like coat, and find your poor little paws still chilly. Today, I bought a perfectly toasty pair of gloves at Rite Aid for $9.99. They're bright blue.

2) Hats! Who doesn't love a cute and ridiculously warm winter hat? You can go old-timey, kids-from-A Christmas Story-style (see below), or get a nice wooly beanie. I prefer a red wool hat with a fleece lining that my sister got in Norway. It's so awesome and original, I couldn't find a picture of it anywhere on the internet.

3) A cute coat. This is crucial. You don't want to freeze your titties off. Wool is the best way to go, in my opinion, and preferably with some sort of toasty lining. I got a new black one from Target. Sixty bones. Not the warmest EVER (not a toasty lining, but a silk one, and the wool is some sort of blend, which isn't as warm as I initially hoped). But it is much better than H&M's version, which I wore all last year and now regret. H&M coats are basically a bunch of threadbare cotton strung together with buttons. What a waste.

4) Waterproof boots. Here in P-burgh, it rains. A lot. Biblical type raining. It also snows, as aforementioned. I prefer my Target brand (here I go again--but Target has some really great apparel) rain boots. I have a pair in both black and army green. They make me want to go for a jaunt across some wild England moor. Also, they are wicked cheap.

5) Long underwear. I LIVE in my long underwear whilst lounging in my apartment. Truly can't recommend it enough--comfortable, durable, and warm as shit. I own a North Face brand but I am sure any thermalware will do.

I'd like to include more fun pictures to supplement my crucial winter elements, but, frankly, am too lazy. Also, mid-way through writing this blog I went out and had three beers, and now I'm both lazy and tipsy and tired to boot.

Fall, Chillin', etc.

Dear HMPV readers,

Look you don't even have to say it. I know what is on everyone's minds. Where the hell has the ol' kikster been? Well, my friends, I can tell you one thing- I have not been doing what I do best- chilling. Instead, I have been super busy. Sigh. That said, I needed to take a despy time out and chill aka blog about a few things.

Fall is finally here. Huzzah. I have been celebrating fall with tons of cute new outfits and wearing my hair down. Here are a couple of fun fall items:

Old Navy Toggle Hoodie. So I am a total copy-cat. I went up to visit Smash this fall and she was rocking this adorable little number. It is the perfect combination of a sweatshirt hoodie and a jacket. It also helps me accomplish the Joey Potter girl-next-door look that I sometimes attempt to emulate. Also, it is only 35 dollars!

My working girl woe? Dry hands. My hands are so red and chapped from excessive hand washing/sanitizing that when I showed them to my mom- she lost a night's sleep worrying about my skin. True story!Enter Eucerin. Don't be swayed by the ugly utilitarian container. This stuff is amazing. Within days of slathering its creamy goodness on my hands, the redness was gone and my skin returned to its girly softness.

Another essential element to fall wardrobes are boots. And lots of them. I love slouchy suede boots. They aren't overly warm like UGGs. They also tend to look good on calves and ankles of all sizes. Trust me, a sturdy leather boot and a wicked muscular calf- Not a good combo. Slouch is the best. These boots are from Steve Madden and only a hundred bucks! I wear them with tights, leggings, and skinny jeans!

The new Sigur Ros CD/DVD. Nothing suits a dreamy fall day more than beautifully orchestrated music with undecipherable lyrics. The new Sigur Ros provides that and more. The "Heima" DVD is a documentary that follows the band performing all over Iceland. The cinematography alone will put you in a good mood. Sometimes, when I watch the trailer, my eyes tear up. Because it is so beautiful.

More tidbits to come!

Love,

Kiks

Toot toot!

All aboard at Procrastination Station!


Every now and then, whether in emails to friends or in my MySpace blog (once alive, now dead) I like to list my latest methods of procrastinating. It's fun. Also, it's just one more way of procrastinating. (Hannah, your lizard post inspired this list format--it's easy and fast. Funny and smart. I'm smitten.)

1) Eating. This is a recurring theme in many blogs here at But Hey...Pura Vida, perhaps because eating good food is so essential to living the pura vida. When procrastinating, I like to make fun snacks that remind me of my childhood. Like peanut butter smeared on celery sticks. Yum! Or, brownies.

2) Drinking. My first preference is alcohol, but if it's before 4pm I recommend Starbucks nonfat lattes. Low cal. Smooth flavor. Caffeinated. All around delicious.

3) Watching Flight of the Conchords videos via YouTube.

4) Lurking around on the MySpace pages of friends, family, musicians, strangers, celebrities, and hot dudes alike.

5) Online shopping. There's nothing quite like virtually shopping with some virtual money.

6) Real shopping. But only if you've just been paid. And actually, I don't highly recommend this one because when you use it too often as a form of procrastinating, you find yourself stuck with #5, which isn't that great of a suggestion on my part anyway. #5 is actually really depressing, when you think about it. Because that's what happens when you're fucking poor. You get depressed about it. Because as everyone knows, money equals true happiness.

7) Ogling/dissing celebrities.

8) Decorating. While procrastinating this last month, I have repainted our dining room (adorable and chipper pale pale pink), our dining room table (black), and our living room (light green with one darker green wall). This is an incredibly productive way of procrastinating and requires a keen eye (if I may say), a roommate's indifference, and loads of caffeine-induced energy.

9) More YouTubing. I've discovered a love for the new musical Spring Awakening, and rediscovered my love for Les Miserables, and also watched inane clips of things I shouldn't care about, like that model who fell through a runway floor, Britney's VMA letdown, and Beyonce EATING it (head over heels, face to the floor) during some performance.

10) Craigslist. But let me warn you: If you find something you want to purchase/take via Craigslist, jump on that thing like a ravenous motherfreaking wildebeest. You have to move at cheetah speed. It took me a month to find a couch only because within, like, 30 seconds of a Craigslist posting, some Olympian track star or someone already managed to get to the location of said sofa, pay for it, and haul it away. But also, the Missed Connection section is an endless guilty pleasure. I love reading stuff like, "To the blue-eyed beauty at the bus stop on Monday. We made eye contact twice. Up for more?"

May your procrastination endeavors be fruitful. Go forth! Godspeed!

Lizards: Pura Vida of Nicaraguan Living

Reasons Why I Heart Lizards:

1. Adorable. Undeniably.
2. They devour bugs that sting, i.e. mosquitoes.
3. They just chill.
4. No animosity towards me (unlike Scary Wasp).
5. The noise they make is cool.
6. They can squeeze through walls.
7. They let me take pictures of them.
8. Fun to draw.
9. I have no friends.

Friday Night Lights.

I am so hooked. Has everyone seen this show? It almost got cancelled this year, but luckily some NBC bigwig saved it because it is amazing.

When I wasn't working this weekend, I was curled up on the couch watching this show on DVD.

I felt it was really important to let you all know about FNL so that you all will also check it out, watch it, and make sure it doesn't ever get cancelled!

OK- let's get down to business. You may be asking- kiks- why do you think this show is amazing? You also like One Tree Hill. Why should we trust you?

My answer to this is as follows:

So I may like the occasional soapy WB teen show (read: DC, OTH, GG) but this doesn't prevent me from watching universally awesome shows like Six Feet Under, Veronica Mars, and Dexter. In order to recognize quality TV, you must first have something to compare it to- ergo, I check out tons of shows.

Getting back to the important stuff . . . FNL is tight. Really tight. Here is why.

1. The show is not about football. It is a drama about the everyday lives in small town Texas. So girls, don't worry about the occasional football scene. With all the romantic sub-plots and family struggles to watch, you will not be worried about what is going on with Dillon Panther Football.
2. The plethora of hot guys. This show has more hotties on it than any other television show I have ever seen. No joke.

Zach Gilford. It is hard not to immediately fall in love with the awkward secondstring quarterback, Matt Saracen. He takes care of his dementia-ridden grandma while working at a local ice cream shop to make ends meet and on top of all of that, he is thrust into the spotlight as the new QB after the first episode! He also has the sweetest love story of the whole show with . . the coach's daughter! Effing adorable.

Tim Riggins. Ok, first of all his name- it is a sexy football player name. It goes perfectly with his brooding, self destructive personality. For all you VM fans out there, I think I can safely say that he is the "Logan Echolls" of this show, but I don't want to pigeonhole him. I don't really think I need to tell you too much about his character because really- look at his picture. Then watch the show and constantly change your opinion of him. Why? Because he is so complex.

Gaius Charles plays "Smash" Williams. In addition to being the star running back on the Panthers, Smash talks about himself in third person and has tons of personal turmoil. He also has an adorable love interest on the show. He is cute and I love his name- Gaius.

Kyle Chandler. I love him. He plays the inspirational Coach Taylor. Besides having the perfect southern drawl, Kyle Chandler is an amazing actor. The on-screen dynamic between Chandler and Connie Britton, who plays his wife, is incredible. Not to mention that the scenes between Coach Taylor and the players bring me to tears. Total DILF.

Anyways, there are actually more adorable boys on the show I could blog about, but I have to get to other blog-worthy things about FNL.

3. The cinemaotography/ direction/ music choices for the show.

The other awesome thing about FNL is the way it is filmed. After memorizing their lines, the actors shoot the scene. The thing is- the directors shoot the scenes with steady cam and the actors have no idea where the cameras are while they are filming. So even though it is scripted, the show presents itself as a documentary.The music choices for the show are also great. First of all, the opening credits song is by a band called "Explosions in the Sky". When I heard the name of the band, I was immediately repulsed. It sounds like some alterna-Christian band. Good thing I effing love the song in the credits. The instrumental rock song's crescendo parallels the build up of angst for all the characters. The show also uses Iron & Wine, Ryan Adams, and Spoon.

4. The show is about football. Yes, this is also a reason to watch the show. You can't help but root for the Dillon Panthers after watching their hot Coach give inspirational speeches and act as a father figure for all the messed-up, cute high school boys.

The second season premiere is on Friday, October 5th. I am DVR-ing it. All day on Friday, Bravo is playing season 1 beginning at 8AM. Check that shizzy out. You won't regret it.

Hoodies.

You know what I love about autumn?


I love walking outside to check the weather.


After I feel a slight chill in the air, I turn right back around and go inside. Why? SO I CAN GO GRAB A CUTE HOODIE. They are the best! Once I have my hoodie on, I am ready to face the day and look cute doing whatever fall-y thing I want to do. Hoodies rule for tons of reasons.


1. They keep you warm and cozy. When it is windy or rainy, don't worry about messing up your hair! Just pull that hood on.

2. In the spirit of the blog, I have to say that hoodies are great to chill in. If you want to just curl up and watch some TV to DVD, you can wear a big baggy "boyfriend" hoodie. I am jumping ahead of myself here, but I have to say guys love chicks in hoodies. This is undeniably true. Especially when the girl is wearing his hoodie. Getting back to my point, I am chilling, blogging, and wearing my favorite hoodie.


3. Anyways, you can also make fashion statements with hoodies. When I was on a tour bus in Scotland, I saw the jazziest hoodie ever. A Canadian girl on our tour was wearing a fitted army green hoodie with a diagonal zipper. She bought it in London. To this day, whenever I am in a trendy shop, I always look for cute diagonal zip hoodies.




4. I can't think of anything more adorable on a guy than a worn-in hoodie. How cute is it when a boy stuffs his hands in the lil' pocket in front?













My best friend bought me a great hoodie. It is just the right size and super soft on the inside. It is also navy blue- one of my favorite colors to wear. This is kind of what it looks like. I luv it.

I love blogging about food.

Guys. I have discovered a breakfast cereal that will make you swoon. It's called Puffins. Isn't that a cute name for a box of cereal?

The thing is, I love cereal. It is cold and delicious and just the right amount of filling. But often times, cereal is loaded with calories and massive amounts of sugar that I fear will land unflatteringly on various appendages.

Not so with Puffins.

It's filled with low-calorie deliciousness. It also has a ton of fiber, which is good for 1) pooping (I'm sorry, but it's true), and 2) staying a slender little hot ass. I'm not sure a nutritionist would put it in these exact terms, but fiber is to your body what adorable orphaned children are to Brangelina: The more you have, the better you look.

Puffins, with their slightly sweet flavor and crunchy bite-sized shapes, are truly the perfect breakfast cereal. (I'm sorry, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but you are junk food, not healthy, slenderizing breakfast food. You seductive, beautiful bitch.)

I feel like I've come to the end of a long search for buried treasure, and Puffins are what I found in the treasure box. Also, they sell them at regular grocery stories and at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods, so you can feel all hippy-crunchy-Gwyneth-ish.

Don't let the packaging fool you. That puffin only looks all militant and refined.

What's Going On?

What a great Marvin Gaye song. While Marvin was questioning war and whatnot, I'm here to see what is up with all my fellow HMPV blogsters.

As for me, I have been busy with non-stop chilling- with no time to post! I know what you thinking- blogging=chilling. Sorry!

So, in true Kiki-fashion, I'm just gonna go ahead and do what I do best- list things that have been keeping me chilling all August long.

1. Robins egg meets Tiffany's box blue.

I painted my new room this color and I cannot even begin to tell you about how chill my new room is- and I think it is mostly due to the color palette. The bright color serves as a great background for all of Smash's artwork as well as my cute new UO duvet cover! Now that my room is painted an inviting blue, all I ever want to do in lounge in bed and straight chill.

2. Ryan Adams-"Easy Tiger"

Okay, so it is no "Cold Roses", but I think this is a pretty enjoyable album. Ryan definitely does what he does best- singing about broken hearts with his falsetto country voice hitting the high notes. So far I have listened to this album on road trips, drinking on the porch, and unpacking my new room. My favorite song is "Two Hearts".

3. Not Working.

This should actually be listed as #1 if we were listing in order of importance. It is really hard to chill . . . at work.

4. Vimeo

Vimeo is the facebook version of youtube. It has a clean design and all kinds of privacy settings when you post your video. You can also do "credits" for the videos you post (if your friends are on vimeo). I love chilling on this site and watching videos. Also, most of these videos are made by the people that post them. For instance, on vimeo, you can't really find Rihanna's "Umbrella" video.

See: http://vimeo.com

5. The Pool.

Even though the docs tell me I shouldn't leave the house without SPF 50 because my skin is so fair, I love to go to the pool and tan. My skin just looks so much better slightly tan instead of the wintery ghost white. In addition to reading mags and catching rays, I also love to go to the snack bar at the pool and get chicken salad wraps. Delish! Going to the pool is a great chilling activity because you can be very independent about it and just go by yourself or you can invite all your friends to chill with you. When in doubt of how to chill in the summertime, just head to a pool.

Question: When will I get sick . . .

of listening to the Cocteau Twins while chilling?

A: Probs never.

Major Problem.

What is my problem?

Turkey Hill Extreme Cookies 'N Cream Light Recipe Ice Cream!

It is too freaking delicious. So I go to Ukrops yesterday to buy a 1.75 qt tub and here I am-- 24 hours later scraping the melted chocolately liquid off the bottom of the container.

Srsly. Buy this stuff if you don't suffer from ice cream binging and you crave a cold creamy treat that isn't too unhealthy.

Here is the description of the ice cream and some nutritional facts.

"Chocolate light ice cream with chocolate cookies and crunchy chocolate cookie swirl"

Per 1/2 cup: 140 calories, 5 grams of fat, 22 grams of carbohydrates.

So basically in the past day I ate 2000 calories of 'scream. Embarrassing!

Oh yeah, and all that cookie mumbo jumbo in the description is ALL TRUE. There are tons of big oreo like cookies in the ice cream. You know what is the worst? When ice cream doesn't live up to its description. Ben and Jerry's is notorious for that.

Superdickery.com

This site is awesome. Check the image galleries for examples of Superman being a dick, or just for ridiculous comic book covers. Click the picture for reading ease.

http://www.superdickery.com/

I want to work in advertising

I hear VCU has the nation's best program. Thoughts, countless VCU alumni?

A girl who knows how to chill.

Iced Caffeinated Beverages

Aren't they great?

Lately I have been a bit of a cheapskate and only buying iced coffees as opposed to the fancier iced latte or mocha.

Also, for a quick drink on the go- Starbucks makes a creamy light iced coffee IN A CAN.

Check it:

Just a nug.

I'm sure everyone's seen this, because I'm not half as hip as you 'sheds, but here is something that I obsess over. The Asian characters, the venetian blind sunglasses, and the DAFT PUNK ROBOTS. Kanye knows how to chill like whoa.

so urban.

urban dictionary's definition of "straight chillin'":

1. straight chillin

hanging out around the house in just your underwear.

“Hey Scott, me and the girls are gonna be there in ten minutes.”

“Nah, man. I’m straight chillin and I don’t wanna put on pants right now.”

tags straight chillin straight chillin straight chillin' chillin'

bwahahahaha... works for me.

Mr. Brooks

This weekend I saw "Mr. Brooks", a bizarro movie about a serial killer. Rottentomatoes gave it a 52% cream of the crop rating, but I would give it a sound 70%. So, if you are into pseudo campy movies about serial killers that will at times make you jump out of your seat- check it out. Also, you can see Dane Cook in a scary serious role.

Also, don't you guys think Costner look freakishly like Alan Rickman in this shot? Weird!

LIST TIME!!!!!!!!!

Hey guys,

Before I get into all this list-y fun, let me just say that I am so glad everyone is keeping up with HMPV!! Anyways, back to the good stuff. Here is the dealio- some of the stressin' is over with- I mean, sure, there is always stuff to worry over, but now it is time to CHILL. Here are some things I have been obsessing over while I work, drive, and just plain ol' chill.

1. Cocteau Twins.

So it took me a while to really understand my friend yourinator's obsession. However, this past year, everything became crystal clear. The Cocteau Twins with all their dreamy, ethereal pop goodness are about as close to perfect as music can be. They go perfectly with everything- except I guess, dancing at a club. Working on your thesis? "Lazy Calm" or "Athol-Brose" will serve as perfect background music with enough melody to please the ear without distracting you with crazy loud beats. Driving in the car? Just listen to all of Heaven or Las Vegas (minus "Road, River, and Rail"). You can pretend you understand Elizabeth Fraser's vocals enough to sing along or you can just lean back and lose yourself in the dreaminess. This is a little embarrassing, but sometimes I just lie down in bed and listen to them! Okay, I have probably said enough- considering I am a rookie fan- but they are just so GREAT.

2. Fruit Tarts.

They are so delicious. I ate two last night! Personally, I like the ones at Whole Foods, but most bakeries make a pretty decent tart.

3. Bikini bottoms that are termed "ring hipsters"

I just bought a bikini bottom made by Perry Ellis. Normally that would be kind of embarrassing to admit, considering the fact that I am only 24 and shouldn't be wearing "Mom" swimsuits, but these bottoms are so CUTE. They don't ride really low like all the other bikini bottoms out there and they have these cute little rings on either side of your pelvis bone that give your boring bikini bottom edge. I also like the tiny "reveal" of skin that isn't usually shown. This picture isn't the bikini bottom I bought- but you get the idea.

4. Short stories.

As everyone here at HMPV knows, I have been stressing- which means I haven't been able to keep up with "Bestseller weekend"- my lofty attempt to read a bestseller in a weekend. Every week. So, instead, I just curl up with short stories at night! A short story can be great because you can enjoy the writing and get a sense of accomplishment before bed by finishing a story. The book pictured has a bunch of really tight short stories. I bought it at a thrift store a few years ago for like, a dollar.

I guess that is it for now. There are tons more things that are keeping me chillin', but I would be blogging about them till the sun comes up!

Stressin' vs. chillin'

Hey everyone,

Although this blog is primarily about chilling, sometimes one just has to blog about the complete opposite of all things "pura vida"- and that, of course, is STRESSING. I mean- I would love to say that my vida is totally pura all the time, but that would be a lie. For instance, right now- I am totally stressed out. In true kiki-fashion I have developed a list *gasp* about the ultimate dilemma: to stress or to chill?

To Stress: Ok guys, like the girl in this photo, sometimes stressing involves being hunched over a laptop worrying about all the schoolwork you have to do. Usually- being surrounded by modes of work (read: laptop) tends to initiate some form of productivity. So I guess my point is this- if one is stressed out in a work environment- it makes them more productive in the end. This, ultimately, alleviates the initial stress!

Counseling sessions are also great outlets for stress. As many of you contributors know, the ol' kikster can definitely have a stress fest during supposed "chillfests". The thing is- sometimes talking about (insert worries here) with a good friend or family member can help relieve the stress. If you let stress bottle up, something horrible could happen- like a "meltdown". So the occasional stressfest is absolutely warranted.


Stressed out? Eating helps. I love to use "stress" as an excuse to eat two boxes of Green Giant Creamed Spinach in a row and THEN some chocolate ice cream! Eating makes people happy- it also makes them forget about their problems. Instead of worrying about our life and other people's lives, we can just think about how delicious french fries are or how it is seemingly impossible to eat them without a side of mayo. Stress is a great justification for a midnight trip to Wendy's or eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's. This is undoubtedly the best side effect of stress.

To Chill:

I think this dog might have it all figured out. Chillin' is all about being comfortable, wearing shades, and lounging in the sun. Chilling is so so so great. We all know this, but we aren't dogs. We can't just sit in the sun where our biggest worries are getting dinner and going to the bathroom in the grass. So- we have to face facts- we can't chill ALL the time.

It is imperative that when you are chilling- you aren't stressing. Sometimes, it is good to distract yourself while chilling- like maybe watching TV or reading a book. When you chill, you can focus on everything but your problems. Chilling involves lounging and practicing the art of "pura vida"- unfortunately this doesn't really help better any possible stressful situations that build up while you are busy chilling.

Here is the thing, when all is said and done, chilling is also about eating. Sometimes a chillfest is eating nachos with two of your best friends. Stress should never enter as a topic of conversation when there are nachos! I love nachos. I also love my two best friends. There is absolutely no way to argue those two facts.

Well, I guess the solution is pretty clear. When faced with the option of chillin' or stressin'- I always try to aim for chillin'. And yes, sometimes I sucker out and take the stress route- but either way I am going to be eating.

Sources of pics:www.malehealth.co.uk/,http://www.furallover.com/,photo.net, girlslife.com,photos.themezz.com

My Nephew, the Reggae Star

Turns out he's a natural

Perry White-ing It

The newspaper has a long and illustrious history in the United States. A lot of the Founding Fathers were involved in the newspaper business, as financiers and printers. Thomas Jefferson supported entire newspapers for the sole purpose of talking shit on Alexander Hamilton.

Newspapers appeared on the scene in 1605. For reference, Andy Rooney started doing those monologues on 60 minutes in 1453. His first one was about the fall of Constantinople, I think.

Since 1605, newspapers have changed a lot and now there are basically two kinds of papers. The middle fold is the separating line.

There are a lot of reasons the two types of newspapers are different but the most important one is the headlines. If you're working at a newspaper right now and you're unsure what kind, imagine you're working at your newspaper in 1998, and the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal has just broken. Your news editor asks you to write a headline for the next day.

Ok, now you go and write a list of headlines. Do you produce this one:

1-President Embroiled In Affair over Sexual Liasions

2-President and Staffer Acted Inappropriately Towards Each Other

3-Corn Prices Rise as Tech Stocks Soar


Or this One:

1-President Abuses Power, Slaps That Ass

2-She Wore a Raspberry Beret

3-Bill Plants Seeds of Change...In Intern's Mouth

4-Bill Jefferson Clinton: B.J., the President

5-American (Wet) Dream

6-Foreignication Policy? Clinton Gets an A

7-Clinton: Vote With Your Mouth, America!

8-Hold On Sadaam; I'm Getting Blown

9-Paris Hilton Sluts It Up Starting In A Few Years

If you wrote the first list, you work at the New York Times.

If you wrote the second list, you work at the New York Post or maybe Hustler.

Cute. Cute. Cute.

So I am a couple years late on this trend- but whatevs, a cute dog is a cute dog- even if it was the "it" designer dog of 2k5. I am talking about Puggles here. Listen, I don't know who initially decided to mate a pug with a beagle, but I do know that he or she was, in a word, a genius. A puggle combines the adorable ugliness of a pug with the snout and build of beagle. No breathing problems! Anyways, I could go on and on about how freakin' cute these munchkins are, but just go ahead and see for yourselves:

Okay, if those pics haven't won you over let me just say this-

1.What is wrong with you? How can you not love a puggle with a gift wrap bow atop his/her wee lil' head? It is a PUGGLE as a PRESENT.

2.Jake Gyllenhall has one. Hot manly celeb with little puggle!

Btw, when I get my puggle- which will happen within the year- I am naming her Eleanor.

Summer Chillin'

Ok guys- summer is here! I can tell by the 90 degree high today. In honor of summer's arrival, I think it is imperative that we all talk about our favorite ways to just CHILL OUT in the summer. Naturally, I will start and I cannot wait for the comments/posts to follow!

1. Crepe Myrtles.

The flower of the south. When the crepe myrtles bloom, you know summer is here! They come in all shades of purple and pink. (Two of my favorite colors) There are also some boring white ones. Crepe myrtles stay in bloom ALL SUMMER. Permanent flower-y beauty that easily identifies a region? LOVE IT. There are tons of these guys all over Richmond- especially in the fan. Nothing is chiller than checking out the crepe myrtles on a late afternoon walk through the fan with a friend and/or dog.

2. Ryan Adams and The Cardinals- Cold Roses
Ok, so maybe just "alt-country" in general is really summer-y- with all the acoustic guitar and sad lyrics. But I just happened to fall in love with this cd . . . in the summer. Whether you are in the mood for singing along all honky tonky like (listen: "Cherry Lane") or just listening to something as you fall asleep (listen: "Friends")- this album has it all. Personally, I have found it to be particularly great for roadtrips in the south. Favorite song: "Meadowlake Street"

3. Road Trips.

Well, given #2 on the list, this one seems pretty obvious. It is pretty simple- driving=chilling. Also, you can only really drive with the windows down in the summer- so road trippin' is really at its best then. Road trips are a great way to catch up with friends, stop for delicious coffee drinks/fast food, and listen to albums from start to finish. Shockingly enough, I love to drive south, listening to ryan adams, and observe . . . crepe myrtles. Driving north has its good points too. The NJ Turnpike is so fun and the signs are all old-timey. There are lots of WaWa's and Full Service gas! However, when I drive north, I get more frustrated by TOLLS.

There are lots of other things about the summer that get me pumped up. Some of them are really predictably girly like: getting a tan! wearing dresses! drinking frozen margaritas! I just thought I would get the ball rolling and get ready to chillax.

Braid it Up

Living in the real world isn’t easy. I should know. I’ve been a graduate for over twenty-four hours now. The world of working women offers many an unforeseen dilemma, many an unanticipated choice. The majority of these I would say have to deal directly with appearance.

In this crazy cosmos, your physiognomy could potentially define your career, your group of friends, where you live, who invites you to their Sweet 16, and who you get to second base with in the alley behind Tiki Bob’s. In a worst case scenario, an unsightly visage could mean you don’t get the job you want.

We've all been the sucker sitting in that interview chair getting checked out by the big man who wants some little hottie with glistening rows of white teeth bringing him his coffee in the morning and xeroxing his papers. Got snaggle teeth? We… uh… found someone else for the job. Yes, while we were interviewing you. Yeah right before you smiled. We just remembered.

Worse than the snaggle hag over there, are you actually missing some teeth? Wow. Hi. Nice to meet you I got to you know go uh talk to that man yeah over there something important be back sorry later when I uh can I’ll call yeah interview you some other time uh huh yeah ok that’s good bye then yup next time!

Ladies, I want to let you in on a little secret. It don’t make no nevermind to nobody how bad those cracked, caffeine-stained, nicotine smudged chips of wood you got for teeth are long as you got a redeeming hairdo. It’s all about the hair. Look at these smiles. These would put a British street urchin circa 1835 to utter shame. Their hair though—it’s not so bad.

My personal recommendation for a successful career if you have snaggle teeth, no teeth, extra fat around your jowls, a unibrow, terrible skin, or those earlobes that aren’t really earlobes but just kind of slide into your head leaving no distinct line between earlobe and cheek is to find a braid that works for you, and work it. A simple braid is the loudest way you can announce to the world that you are ready to work and that you're a confident fun-loving chick. You see a braid on a gal, you probably think to yourself right off the bat, Now THERE’S a gal who can rear up some cattle, or go weave a carpet, or maybe get all those files in order! And she'll probably STILL go to the saloon after all that to guzzle a brewsky!

I’m talking about the working woman’s braid: her key to success when her face isn’t enough. I would choose something light and loose, something that says, Yeah, I took the time to get ready for this job by braiding my hair, but see how loose it is? That means I’m nonchalant. But it’s also a braid, which means I work hard. So there. You could even intertwine some rope into it to increase the hardcore worker factor. Think: Idgie Threadgoode, before the social demands of Whistle Stop forced her to chop her hair off and become slightly more feminine looking.

Anyhoo, this is all just food for thought. Clearly, I am no expert on preparing for a life as a working woman, but I have shared with you what I know, and hope to see more women up and down the eastern seaboard sporting the working woman’s braid with pride. Because so what if your face got mauled by a bear so you’re missing an eye and all your teeth got chipped so they look like little uneven spikes so nobody wants to give you a job now, plus you're obese? Pura vida, man. You can still slap a braid on the back of that shit. Unless the bear took your scalp too.

Love in the Early 1900s

GIRL: Let's run away together!

BOY: Oh! How nice that would be! But wherever would we go?

GIRL: Oh, I don't know! Somewhere large, urban, urbane, a place where they can't stop us from, from...

BOY: From holding hands and riding together!

GIRL: Yes! Oh, how nice it would be to just be somewhere big, where things were happening where the future was growing. Like Buffalo or Grand Rapids!

BOY: How wonderful it would be! To finally just be young and alive! To just be with you, dear!

GIRL: *Titters*

BOY: What is it?

GIRL: You called me "dear"! You've never done that before-

BOY: Oh, I apologize, truly. I didn't mean to be so presumptio-

GIRL: No. No. I liked it. It felt nice.

BOY: *Titters*

GIRL: *Blushes*

BOY: Oh, but how will we get to one of these places? How can we escape so quickly, like the night through a sieve or a thief through the wickets and high grass?

GIRL: Why, we'll take your father's yacht, of course!

BOY: *Blushes*

GIRL: What, what is it?

BOY: Oh, phoo! I'm afraid I can't really sail, this is just a silly outfit!

GIRL: Phoo!

BOY: Oh, how embarrassing this is! To think of me, parading like some captain when the first time I wore this hat I had to be reminded which end was front! I wish someone would just invent an autocar! How much easier running away will be then!

GIRL: Oh! Well, we can't go far together. Then let's just get lost! Somewhere nearby but not too far, just long enough to hold hands and titter and blush! Please, please! I promise I'll let you call me dear and perhaps I'll even take my coat off for a spell!

BOY: Oh, how nice it will be!

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: Hey!

GIRL: GASP!

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: You two aren't going nowheres!

GIRL: I thought your little brother the cornpicker was to be picking till nightfall!

BOY: Why, I thought, oh, I knew, oh-

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: I already met my quota for the day, riffraff! I was allowed to leave the cornfields! But I'll be goddamned if I let you two fanny about town sullying my good family name!

BOY: Oh little brother but to love, to be in love, it's like nothing I've ever-

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: Don't tell me about no love!

BOY: Phoo!

GIRL: Phoo!

*LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER takes bite of raw corn and undoes one strap of overalls*

FIN.