Summer Chillin'

Ok guys- summer is here! I can tell by the 90 degree high today. In honor of summer's arrival, I think it is imperative that we all talk about our favorite ways to just CHILL OUT in the summer. Naturally, I will start and I cannot wait for the comments/posts to follow!

1. Crepe Myrtles.

The flower of the south. When the crepe myrtles bloom, you know summer is here! They come in all shades of purple and pink. (Two of my favorite colors) There are also some boring white ones. Crepe myrtles stay in bloom ALL SUMMER. Permanent flower-y beauty that easily identifies a region? LOVE IT. There are tons of these guys all over Richmond- especially in the fan. Nothing is chiller than checking out the crepe myrtles on a late afternoon walk through the fan with a friend and/or dog.

2. Ryan Adams and The Cardinals- Cold Roses
Ok, so maybe just "alt-country" in general is really summer-y- with all the acoustic guitar and sad lyrics. But I just happened to fall in love with this cd . . . in the summer. Whether you are in the mood for singing along all honky tonky like (listen: "Cherry Lane") or just listening to something as you fall asleep (listen: "Friends")- this album has it all. Personally, I have found it to be particularly great for roadtrips in the south. Favorite song: "Meadowlake Street"

3. Road Trips.

Well, given #2 on the list, this one seems pretty obvious. It is pretty simple- driving=chilling. Also, you can only really drive with the windows down in the summer- so road trippin' is really at its best then. Road trips are a great way to catch up with friends, stop for delicious coffee drinks/fast food, and listen to albums from start to finish. Shockingly enough, I love to drive south, listening to ryan adams, and observe . . . crepe myrtles. Driving north has its good points too. The NJ Turnpike is so fun and the signs are all old-timey. There are lots of WaWa's and Full Service gas! However, when I drive north, I get more frustrated by TOLLS.

There are lots of other things about the summer that get me pumped up. Some of them are really predictably girly like: getting a tan! wearing dresses! drinking frozen margaritas! I just thought I would get the ball rolling and get ready to chillax.

Braid it Up

Living in the real world isn’t easy. I should know. I’ve been a graduate for over twenty-four hours now. The world of working women offers many an unforeseen dilemma, many an unanticipated choice. The majority of these I would say have to deal directly with appearance.

In this crazy cosmos, your physiognomy could potentially define your career, your group of friends, where you live, who invites you to their Sweet 16, and who you get to second base with in the alley behind Tiki Bob’s. In a worst case scenario, an unsightly visage could mean you don’t get the job you want.

We've all been the sucker sitting in that interview chair getting checked out by the big man who wants some little hottie with glistening rows of white teeth bringing him his coffee in the morning and xeroxing his papers. Got snaggle teeth? We… uh… found someone else for the job. Yes, while we were interviewing you. Yeah right before you smiled. We just remembered.

Worse than the snaggle hag over there, are you actually missing some teeth? Wow. Hi. Nice to meet you I got to you know go uh talk to that man yeah over there something important be back sorry later when I uh can I’ll call yeah interview you some other time uh huh yeah ok that’s good bye then yup next time!

Ladies, I want to let you in on a little secret. It don’t make no nevermind to nobody how bad those cracked, caffeine-stained, nicotine smudged chips of wood you got for teeth are long as you got a redeeming hairdo. It’s all about the hair. Look at these smiles. These would put a British street urchin circa 1835 to utter shame. Their hair though—it’s not so bad.

My personal recommendation for a successful career if you have snaggle teeth, no teeth, extra fat around your jowls, a unibrow, terrible skin, or those earlobes that aren’t really earlobes but just kind of slide into your head leaving no distinct line between earlobe and cheek is to find a braid that works for you, and work it. A simple braid is the loudest way you can announce to the world that you are ready to work and that you're a confident fun-loving chick. You see a braid on a gal, you probably think to yourself right off the bat, Now THERE’S a gal who can rear up some cattle, or go weave a carpet, or maybe get all those files in order! And she'll probably STILL go to the saloon after all that to guzzle a brewsky!

I’m talking about the working woman’s braid: her key to success when her face isn’t enough. I would choose something light and loose, something that says, Yeah, I took the time to get ready for this job by braiding my hair, but see how loose it is? That means I’m nonchalant. But it’s also a braid, which means I work hard. So there. You could even intertwine some rope into it to increase the hardcore worker factor. Think: Idgie Threadgoode, before the social demands of Whistle Stop forced her to chop her hair off and become slightly more feminine looking.

Anyhoo, this is all just food for thought. Clearly, I am no expert on preparing for a life as a working woman, but I have shared with you what I know, and hope to see more women up and down the eastern seaboard sporting the working woman’s braid with pride. Because so what if your face got mauled by a bear so you’re missing an eye and all your teeth got chipped so they look like little uneven spikes so nobody wants to give you a job now, plus you're obese? Pura vida, man. You can still slap a braid on the back of that shit. Unless the bear took your scalp too.

Love in the Early 1900s

GIRL: Let's run away together!

BOY: Oh! How nice that would be! But wherever would we go?

GIRL: Oh, I don't know! Somewhere large, urban, urbane, a place where they can't stop us from, from...

BOY: From holding hands and riding together!

GIRL: Yes! Oh, how nice it would be to just be somewhere big, where things were happening where the future was growing. Like Buffalo or Grand Rapids!

BOY: How wonderful it would be! To finally just be young and alive! To just be with you, dear!

GIRL: *Titters*

BOY: What is it?

GIRL: You called me "dear"! You've never done that before-

BOY: Oh, I apologize, truly. I didn't mean to be so presumptio-

GIRL: No. No. I liked it. It felt nice.

BOY: *Titters*

GIRL: *Blushes*

BOY: Oh, but how will we get to one of these places? How can we escape so quickly, like the night through a sieve or a thief through the wickets and high grass?

GIRL: Why, we'll take your father's yacht, of course!

BOY: *Blushes*

GIRL: What, what is it?

BOY: Oh, phoo! I'm afraid I can't really sail, this is just a silly outfit!

GIRL: Phoo!

BOY: Oh, how embarrassing this is! To think of me, parading like some captain when the first time I wore this hat I had to be reminded which end was front! I wish someone would just invent an autocar! How much easier running away will be then!

GIRL: Oh! Well, we can't go far together. Then let's just get lost! Somewhere nearby but not too far, just long enough to hold hands and titter and blush! Please, please! I promise I'll let you call me dear and perhaps I'll even take my coat off for a spell!

BOY: Oh, how nice it will be!

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: Hey!

GIRL: GASP!

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: You two aren't going nowheres!

GIRL: I thought your little brother the cornpicker was to be picking till nightfall!

BOY: Why, I thought, oh, I knew, oh-

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: I already met my quota for the day, riffraff! I was allowed to leave the cornfields! But I'll be goddamned if I let you two fanny about town sullying my good family name!

BOY: Oh little brother but to love, to be in love, it's like nothing I've ever-

LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER: Don't tell me about no love!

BOY: Phoo!

GIRL: Phoo!

*LITTLE BROTHER THE CORNPICKER takes bite of raw corn and undoes one strap of overalls*

FIN.

Sad News.

R.I.P. Veronica Mars.

EXPERIMENT

Here's a song I made. Im really just trying to figure out how to blog music - I may try to creat a blog to post a song a day as a summer project. Blog, blog blog

Running with Dogs

I live in a city, a big city, with people jogging everywhere. There are even people on in-line skates. I'm here to talk about running with your dog.

If you know me, you can probably anticipate that I think running with a dog on a leash is real dumb.


If you are running with your dog, your dog is probably thinking:

1-OMG OMG WHERE IS THE ANIMAL I AM CHASING OMG OMG I AM GOING TO CATCH AN ANIMAL SOON WTF THERE IS NO ANIMAL WTF I WANT TO LIE DOWN OR EAT THIS GARBAGE I JUST RAN BY

2-WTF THIS CONCRETE IS HARD WTF WHY DONT I HAVE SPECIAL SHOES LIKE YOU HEY DOG I JUST RAN BY A/S/L WTF I WANT TO WEAR SOME NEW BALANCES OR AT LEAST SOME ETONICS MY PAWS ARE BLEEDING


3-I BET THIS IS WHAT HAVING SEX WITH ANOTHER DOG IS LIKE IF I HAD NOT BEEN FIXED EXCEPT AT THE END SOMETHING GOOD WOULD HAPPEN INSTEAD OF YOU DUMPING SOME WATER INTO MY MOUTH WHICH I CAN'T DRINK BECAUSE MY MOUTH IS SO DAMN LONG AND WATER COMES OUT THE SIDES SRSLY

4-I WONDER WHERE I BURIED MY BONE? ARE WE RUNNING TO THERE? WE SHOULD JUST TAKE THE CAR I COULD PUT MY HEAD OUT THE WINDOW AND GET A DUM-DUM AT THE BANK

Chillin' Vices

I used to be quasi-productive at nighttime. In college I would go to the gym, eat fro yo with my friends, instant message some peeps, all kinds of stuff!

However, lately, my nights have become a little embarrassing. They revolve around the following:

Eating low sugar vanilla yogurt mixed with granola. Sounds healthy right? Not really. Tonight I reached an all time low where I crumbled up Atkins brand chocolately chip granola bars into the yogurt. I had two servings.

Brothers and Sisters. This show is so great. I watch it all the time on abc.com. The storylines are so soapy and over the top- I can't get enough. Also, the gay brother is HOT. When I am not busy streaming this online, I am downloading episodes of the office or watching LOST online.

Another new vice are the crossword puzzles on washingtonpost.com. All you have to do is sign up for access to washingtonpost.com and it is free! You can then choose from a wise variety of puzzles online! Even those pesky sodoku puzzles-which I hate by the way. Also, you can check to see if you are right about a word or "reveal" words to help you out!

I guess that is it.

In conclusion, I need to nip these vices in the bud and return to the productivity of yore. On the other hand, if anyone is looking for some fun new ways to avoid doing important stuff- check out abc.com, washingtonpost.com, and go buy some yogurt/granola.

Anticipation!

Everybody!

What songs do you hope AF plays this weekend?


My dream set-list would include the following:

Rebellion (lies)
Neighborhood 3 (Power Out)
The Well and the Lighthouse
Headlights Look Like Diamonds
Black Mirror
And of course, Neighborhood 1 (Tunnels)

I am so excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, britney.

you should have stuck with "email my heart."

Only 28 more hours.

I think my hand will be over my heart the whole night. Not for like pledging allegiance or anything, just because it might beat too fast from excitement! Who is with me?

thoughts?

Personal Chillfest: A Picture Post

After a relatively hectic weekend/beginning of the week, I desperately needed to chill out.

The activites and items listed below greatly contributed to my chillfest.

First, I hit up plan 9 for a little retail therapy. Thank goodness they had the two cds I wanted!

Afterwards, I drove-(yes! drove!) one block to Bev's for some delicious espresso oreo ice cream.

Finally, I came home to curl up with my laptop, listen to my new music, eat my ice cream, and read . . .articles in Science mag.

Who doesn't love to read about the inflammatory pathway while they are chillin'?

Just kidding guys! But I really did come home and read science articles online.

Hope everyone else had a chillaxing Wednesday!

Oh yeah, I also stayed updated on my new favorite baseball team, the Cleveland Indians via espn "gamecast".

1. What is your all time favorite Nora Ephron film?

i knew i shouldnt have googled this - these movies suck

2. Suppose you are curled up and just chilling- would you be snacking on: chips/salsa, ice cream, or apples with peanut butter?

id wanna eat all of that - but i guess if i have to choose one, chips and salsa (guacamole in addition preferable)

3. What is going on with Drew Barrymore?

i could not tell you, i guess mainly making sh*tty movies. i inadvertantly went to music and lyrics recently on a date. wow.

4. Who do you most identify with in Steel Magnolias? Miss Truvy, Annelle, Clairee, Shelby,or Ouiser (weezer)?

its too hard for me to pick one!

5. Veronica Mars or Twin Peaks?

i think i saw twin peaks, once?

6. Favorite place to eat in the state of Virginia?

this is too hard a question - i love so many fine eating establishments - i guess id say yoko sushi in oakton

7. Cartoons for adults- yay or nay?

big time

8. What was one of your favorite hobbies when you were a kid that you would never participate in now?

youth league sports - ill still play now, just not in a yellow and blue reversible jersey with little kids

9. Favorite hot dog condiment?

chili, cheese, raw onions

10. When you aren't chilling, would you choose basketball, baseball, or racquetball?

probably basketball, but id be up for racquetball too

11. If you had to choose one HMPV contributor to plan a chillfest for you-including the environment, movies/tv, and eats- who would you pick and what type of chillfest do you think they would plan?

kyle and ashleigh - itd be the slammenest chill fest ever. im sure theyd hook it up with racy adult films and malt liquor, just the way i like it.

12. America's Next Top Model (ANTM) vs. Search for the Next Pussycat Doll- which one is more addictive?


13. Favorite Wes Anderson created character?

mr. littlejeans - best character ever man (i lost my touch!- begoda, i think thats his name in bottle rocket)

14. Did you do your own taxes this year? If not, who did? How much was your refund?

my dad did it, negative refund - what a bitch

15. Did you want to be named something else when you were younger? What?

yes - oddly enough for a brief time i had some weird affinity for the name rick

16. Who is your favorite founding father?

you know, i just took us history for the second time last summer - still cant answer this question.