Ms. Grylls at your service.

I would like to take this opportunity
To announce my engagement.

I have found the man of my dreams.

No mere mortal could ever achieve what my future husband has—especially at the ripe, virile young age of thirty-two.

I would like to introduce you to the future Mr. Rubenstein:

Bear Grylls.

For those of you who have not yet been blessed by knowledge of this man’s glorious existence, I would like to offer, for your enjoyment, a brief outline of my fiancée’s heroic life:

1. At the age of 23, my dumpling entered The Guinness Book of Records by becoming the youngest, and one of only around thirty, British climbers to have successfully climbed Mt. Everest and returned alive.

2. Cupcake was a member of the British Special Air Service. During this time, he suffered a free-fall parachuting accident in Africa where he broke his back in three places. And then recovered to climb Mt. Everest.

3. In 2003, Lovely successfully completed another world breaking expedition, leading a team across the North Atlantic Arctic Ocean in a small open rigid inflatable boat.

4. Two years ago, SmooshyLoveFace broke the world record for the highest ever open air dinner party, slung under a hot air balloon at 25,000 ft.

5. CreamyHappyMuffinBrownie is the current star of The Discovery Channel’s “Man Vs. Wild,” where he is parachuted into some of the most inhospitable deserts, jungles and mountains on earth with only a knife, rippling muscles, and an adorable accent to survive.

6. He has a son named Marmaduke and lives on a boat.

7. He is hot.

Please join us in celebrating this new chapter of our lives.